Break into pieces

Get used to it.
I have got lot of things to think.
What do you expected from me?

Those sentences are still fresh, clear and
It keep repeating in my mind and heart its
Still feel the same pain.

You're selfish. You've hurt me trillion of time
With your words.

Detik.

Hati ini telah hancur.
Hancur Berkecai.
Semua gara gara engkau.
Di saat Hati ini sedang kembali bertaut,
kau musnahkan segalanya.
Kau kabarkan kepada semua,
antara kita telah tamat,
sedangkan sebenarnya,
aku dan engkau masih bersama.

Apa kau ingat hati dan perasaan itu
saidina, sahiba, karom ?
Kau kejam.

aidiladha.

syukur Ya Allah,

dugaanmu begitu besar

terhadap diri ini.

tapi,

aku masih mampu tersenyum,

dengan adanya insan insan yang aku sygi di sisi,

terima kasih untuk kekuatan ini ya allah.

aku yakin derita ini akan pergi jua 

satu hari nanti.

Why its a NO ?

still remember,
the first time i text you?
NO
still remember you asked me to support you during SAF?
NO
when you text me late at night? force me to sleep because i study too hard
and refuse to sleep?
NO
remember when you call me that day you said you cant sleep
and suddenly when we're talking its azan?
NO
do you still remember i ran from you?
NO
remember you always crave for my attention? Call me every night?
always care.
remember you send a long text that make me smile?
when i rejected you and you cry?
when we first met?
and the night..
our study week..
i know all the answer would be NO.
i know i have lost you a long time ago.
why cant i accept the reality?
and now
here i am. alone. again.
Ya Allah kuatkan hati aku.cekal dan tabahkan hati aku Ya Allah.
Sesugguhnya tanpa engkau di sisi aku tak sekuat hari ini.

just like season. people. they change.

Don't expect too much.
Distract yourself.
Do the things you never do before.
Be happy.
Stay happy.
Stay strong.

A sunshine.

you know what hurt and what worst than heartbroken?
seeing a married couple with kids divorced.
not them. but the kids.
how about the kids?
what if it happens to you?
what if you're in their shoes?
seeing your parent not like they used to be.
you see them unhappy anymore.
a two years old girl.
and an eight years old boy.
please be safe my love.
please grow up healthy and happy.
things will get better.
you mean the world.
you are everything.

dig in.

'people want to kill themselves because they want to end the pain'

I once told myself,

not to fall again. but Allah why you did this to me,

why did you put me in this situation again? Ya Allah help me go through this Ya Allah,

Ya Allah, you have give me everything and alhamdulillah that is more than enough,

but Ya Allah aku memohon kepada engkau berilah aku hati yang tenang, hati yang bahagia,

Berilah aku kekuatan Ya Allah, kuatkan hati aku Ya Allah. 

Ampunkan dosa dosa aku Ya Allah.